I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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