i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
