I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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