you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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