omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
