maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
