I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
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I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
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I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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