there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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