you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Dicks are not precious.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
