My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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