I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My cat gives me a boner
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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