Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
