After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
