ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
