i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
