i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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