I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
