he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
