is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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