So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
