I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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