He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
