I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
