5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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