everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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