I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
