She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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