your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
