Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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