I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
