She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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