2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
