Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
