tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
