woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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