i may or may not be watching the land before time
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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