I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize