Can i not drive my cunt home
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
