i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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