A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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