all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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