Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
