If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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