You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
