ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
