One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
