I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
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