dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
