trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
