just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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