if i can run in heels then i can drive
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
