he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
