i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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