32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
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I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
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I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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