Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
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He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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