Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
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my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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