Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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