She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We are two peas in an std pod
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
