i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize